Cary Terra, LMFT

• Where can I find psychosocial oncology services?
• Who can help me with the emotional difficulties of dealing with cancer?
• Who can I talk to about death and dying?
• What are the physical stages of dying?
• What is the meaning of oncology?
• What is the difference between grief and bereavement?
• Where I can find grief support?
• Who can help me with bereavement?
• What are the stages of bereavement?

Whether you are living with cancer or have a loved one with cancer, living with cancer or bereavement can be incredibly difficult. Psychosocial oncology, specialized psychotherapy for people impacted by cancer, can help clients deal with anxiety, sadness and other unexpected emotions which often come with dealing with cancer: shame, guilt, embarrassment, anger. Cary Terra, MFT helps adults, children and families learn to cope with their feelings about the illness, so that the feelings can be expressed in healthy ways.

The cancer diagnosis affects not only the individual diagnosed, but family members, friends, even coworkers. Fear, confusion, anger or numbness are common reactions to being diagnosed. Some clients feel like they shut down when they hear the word cancer – this is not uncommon.

Often feelings about mortality, spirituality and family of origin issues take on new importance when the cancer diagnosis is life-threatening. Friends and family members may want to be supportive, but not know how. Well meaning gestures can leave clients feeling alone and frightened.

Terra Therapy offers private grief support and bereavement counseling. Learn about the stages of bereavement, how to address feelings about death and dying, how to offer grief support to yourself and others and how to survive your own experience of bereavement. Cary Terra, LMFT has extensive experience in grief interventions for both children and adults dealing with cancer.

• How do I address cancer with my children?
• Should I tell them about the diagnosis?
• Wouldn’t it be kinder to save them the anxiety by keeping the cancer a secret?
• Who can help me talk about death and dying with my kids?
• Isn’t it traumatizing to share medical information with children?

Believe it or not, research shows that children who are informed and involved with the cancer diagnosis and treatment fare better emotionally than children who are “protected” from the information. This seems counter-intuitive – why stress them out before you have to?

The answer is simple…

Children know. They sense – with amazing perceptiveness – anxiety levels in the home. While they may not know what the problem is exactly – if they’ve not been informed – what children imagine tends to be worse. Children who are deprived of the time and opportunity to begin to sort out their feelings as soon as possible suffer more anxiety and depression and functioning interruptions. You may think you’re doing a great job of hiding your stress or pain – but children pick up on it, and can begin to manifest their own reactions in unconscious ways.

“But how do I tell my kid?”

Having the conversations with kids about cancer, especially about death and dying, can feel overwhelming, even frightening. Cary Terra, LMFT has the expertise and compassion to help you have these crucial conversations, so that children can manage their feelings in healthy ways. Having your child attend a support group, such as through Kids Konnected, can help “normalize” your child’s feelings, as he ot she realizes other kids are facing the same difficulties.

If you’re struggling with dealing with cancer, please call for a free, 10-minute consultation on how therapy might help you.

Cary Terra, LMFT has worked with Kids Konnected, a national non-profit, offering support and education to children with a parent with cancer, or who have lost a parent to cancer. For more information, please visit www.kidskonnected.org. You are not alone!

Cary Terra, LMFT

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